Oh the difference a sibling (or 6) makes

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Several of my 20 something friends are tying the knot and immediately jumping into bed to make babies! While I’m so excited to plan baby showers for them and to hold adorable newborns, I am also more than happy to hand the little one back the moment crying ensues! Possibly because I am the oldest 7. The six littles ones have made me all two familiar with motherhood, and anyone who was older when their siblings were born knows these same situations all too well! While we may be well equipped to handle motherhood someday our little siblings have not made us too eager to get there.

1.Only children and those close In age to their siblings won’t recall what it’s like being trapped in a car with a screaming baby or toddler throwing a temper tantrum. At 16 I remember wanted to jump out the window on the freeway when my 6 month old brother was shrieking, for no apparent reason. Nothing pushes you to the brink of your sanity faster than being locked in a car with a toddler who is kicking the back of your seat and screaming at the top of his lungs because he wants a happy meal.

2. I’m not in a rush to be a soccer mom because I’ve already been a soccer sister. I’ve been dragged out of bed at an ungodly hour on Saturday mornings to shuttle one of my siblings to soccer. Too many kids, too many games at the same time, poor mom can’t get to all of them so sister is an acceptable stand in. I work hard and I’d like to spend a few more years sleeping in on Saturday…after all it’s the day of pre-rest right?

3. They may be tiny and cute but they are ragingly expensive. From club soccer fees to prom dresses, I’ve heard my siblings come home demanding cash for it all. Not to mention you have to feed and clothe them and all that too. Right now I’d rather spend my extra cash on an expensive hand bag and take my baby brother out for froyo on the weekend than pay for a little one of my own.

4. Being 5-16 years older than my siblings I’ve spent a lot of time baby sitting! This has left me loving my freedom! From being able to shop without holding a hand to living entirely on my own schedule. Children tend to be on a fairly demanding time schedule. My parents recently went to Hawaii, I was in charge of 5 kids from 17-8 and let me tell at the end of the vacation, I wasn’t sure I wanted to have kids ever. Even at 15 they can pick up after themselves, and the little ones need help with homework and lunches and getting to and from school. It’s exhausting, I have a hard enough time with just myself. It gave me a whole new respect for my mom, and the fact that she doesn’t drink an bottle of wine to herself nightly. Needless to say I was ready for a Grande Marg upon their arrival.

5. When I go out to dinner whether it’s for a date night or girls night, I am looking for a grown up good time….and nothing kills the vibe more than a family with tiny tots, yelling, crying and climbing on the table eliciting stares from restaurant goers. While my friends who are only children are shooting them dirty looks, how dare they take their children out to dinner, I avoid staring in their direction and instead of a glare I give the mom a sympathetic look and smile. I do this because remember what it was like being 14 and having 5 year old twins and a infant dining out with me, I know exactly how mortified that poor mom is because I was that mortified older sister. And at the end of the evening I get to leave the restaurant childless and that poor mom has to go home with those wild children.

6. I’ve seen my mom bend over backwards to make my siblings happy with out so much as a thank you, let alone the acknowledgment that she rearranged her whole schedule to drive them to practice or she just bought them new cleats that cost as much as my car payment. I think I would rather stick to my thankless job, at least I get to leave at 5 and I get paid for my over time.

I love kids but growing up with them made me acutely aware that those cute little bundles of joy are expensive, loud, hindrances to fun. While I’m sure their are an abundance of joys you experience as a parent that I could relate to, like how proud I was of my baby bro the first time I saw him score a goal in soccer, or when I saw my little sister, one of my closest friends, graduate from high school with tears in my eyes…when it comes time to get married I will be busy planning my honeymoon in Venice, not planning pregnancies. This girl is in no hurry to have a screaming baby in the backseat of her car…so a big thanks to all my siblings for my views on motherhood.

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Excuse me but I didn’t order a catfish?!

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Have 20 something’s given up? Have we really relinquished ourselves to online dating because were so desperate to find love at the ripe old age of 23? We’re sacrificing chemistry for convenience. While I haven’t experienced online dating myself I’ve watched my friends experience some online dating success and some Tinder nightmares.

Online Dating Pros

1. The Pool Keeps Shrinking. Once you graduate college, you go from trying to weed out the douche bags from the the nice guys, to just trying to meet any guy! There are friends of friends, co-workers, the few randoms from the bar and god forbid exes. Bottom line the older you get the fewer opportunities you have to meet new people.

2. Ain’t nobody got time for that. We’re busy ladies! We have jobs and other commitments that do not allow the time that is required to meet a guy. When we have time to go out with our friends we want to enjoy their company, not constantly be on the prowl.

3. Been there, done that. We’re over guys in bars. We just spent four years in college bringing guys home from bars. Having drunk hook ups and ill fated flings after meeting drunk. We’re looking for something more than what you can find in a bar on a Friday night.

4. True Life: We Met Online. Giving credit where it’s due, a friend of a friend, at age 24 is in a successful relationship with a guy she met on match. He is 26, with a good job, his own place and his life is together. I ask myself what kind of 20 something guy goes on match? My first thought? A desperate creep! Apparently the one she found is just a little more mellow and job oriented.

Online Dating Cons

1. Meet Cute. When your kids someday ask you how you met your answer will be online. So much for an adorable story. No phone number written on a Starbucks cup, or an instant connection after bumping into each other at a crowded gallery opening. Or in my case too much tequila caused me to sit on his lap…while he was bar-tending, hey it was cuter than it sounds!

2. So inorganic. You can’t manufacture true chemistry. You can’t buy butterflies. No test can match you with your soulmate. It’s not a perfect system, like every girl out there trolling the bars you’re going to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. Odds are the first guy you find on match isn’t going to be the love of your life.

3. And then there was Tinder…it’s like an online booty call. Yes, I know one person who is in a tinder relationship, however, some of the dates my friends have been on.OMG. Absolutely horrifying! It’s more like an online booty call. As if there wasn’t a stigma attached to online dating already, tinder came along and put the cherry on top. I’m judging and all my girls know it.

4. Catfish. There is an entire television show dedicated to the crazy, creepy, scum of the earth who screw with people online. Remember when you swiped right on Tinder, you know, tall, blonde, blue eyes, fit. Odds are if he’s not a total a**hole, then he is actually 300 lbs, eating pizza in his parents basement and loving your photos as well. Thanks MTV you’ve now encouraged all the crazies to
Come out of the woodwork…again. (Sidenote: don’t get me wrong I love catfish the tv show)

Bottom line, in my opinion I think 20 something’s should keep hope alive and stay off online dating sites. I think we need to feel spark and continue to be adventurous. Leave your options open! Ask me again in 5 1/2 years and I may be far more encouraging when it comes to online dating at 30 but for now at least I get a kick out of hearing about my friend’s infamous tinder dates!

50 Shades of Judgement

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So let me start by asking; how many of you ladies who have been counting down the days with baited breath and planning to spend Valentine’s day with a box of chocolates and Christian Grey, would actually get down in his infamous Red Room of Pain…Any takers?

I’m probably sharing what will be received as an incredibly unpopular opinion. However, I find it funny that this is the book most woman in America went crazy for. I read the first two books several years ago. I haven’t gotten around to the third and I don’t plan to (so if someone wants to let me know how it ends that would be great,thanks). This is not because I’m some prude who thinks BDSM is scary or too kinky. Frankly, E.L. James writing sucked. Voice, wit and word choice were not what had these books flying off the shelves, proving once again sex sells.

As someone who has visited Seattle many times I can tell you, if British housewife James has taken a trip across the pond it was not to Seattle. The vague scenes depicting mountains, perpetual gray skies and the occasional space needle siting definitely leave something to be desired when it comes to scenic descriptions. But who needs scenery when you’ve got lip biting and pleasure balls, right?

I also find it rather comical that 50
Shade die hards seem to be pretty bummed the scandalous tampon removal scene didn’t make it into the film. Really girls? I don’t know about you but if a sex scene (or 10) needed to be cut I’m ok with that scene being one. Christian removing Anna’s tamp doesn’t exactly scream sexy movie scene to me. It’s a film not a porno, remember there was a plot in there some where between all the whips, chains, and sex. One of the main reasons I am still curious how it ends is because I’m intrigued by Christian’s character and what led him to become the person he is, regarding both personality and sexual preferences. Despite the fact that every time I read his words in the book I heard a Optimus Prime’s (yes,the transformer) voice in my head.

Anastasia perplexes me because as a girl, at 21 or even now at 24 I think I can speak for myself and most my girlfriends when I say our response to the Red Room would have been quite different. There would have been a lot more WTF’s and are you kidding me right now’s? Throughout the course of the book if we were Anastasia. And it probably would have taken more than his millions, lavish gifts and clothes to get me to go along with some of his bizarre requests. Even despite the cool plane ride.

I’ll admit despite the fact that I don’t find the actor playing Mr.Grey, Jamie Doran as swoon worthy as everyone else does won’t deter me from seeing the movie. Not on Valentine’s Day and maybe not even in theaters but I want to see what all the fuss is about. Hypocritical as it may seem, can you blame me?

Photo credit: http://m.imdb.com/title/tt2322441/mediaindex?rmconst=rm2878849792&ref_=m_ttmi_mi_tt_art_1

25 Things Girls Want Guys to Know

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I recently read an article on collegetimes.com, 30 Things Guys Wish Girls Knew. They asked for a rebuttal… Dear College Times and all guys out there here is what we would like you to know.

1. If we ask a question like Does this make me look fat? or Do you think she’s hot? You LIE!! If we we wanted the truth we wouldn’t be asking you.

2. Saying “I’m on my period.” is a 100% legit excuse for any and every crazy thing we may do during that god awful time of the month. From binge eating to crying and bitching..if value you your life you will accept this excuse.

3. If it’s not your credit card were swiping you have absolutely no right to have an opinion about our shopping and/or spending habits. No comments, questions or jokes about how much we shop or what we buy. We are independent women and we will shop if we want to! We reserve the right to buy that gorgeous coral Kate Spade bag as long as our paycheck allows!

4. BJ’s are a privilege not a right. Enough said.

5. Not all girls hate sports, if your girlfriend doesn’t understand that Sundays are for football and baseball season is a three hour, almost daily commitment…then maybe you should find a new girlfriend…one who doesn’t ask things like How many innings are there in football?

6. If we watch a 3 hour baseball game with you…you better happily and quietly sit through The Bachelor with us…or invest in a second TV for the sake of your relationship.

7. Birthday’s are a BIG deal. If you forget the date we met or our anniversary (unless were married) it’s a forgivable offense. If you forget our birthday, you suck and you don’t deserve to see us naked….ever again.

8. Gifts. If we love you we will wear a hideous sweater or piece of jewelry because you took the time to pick it out for us. And from then on we will give you serious guidance. If you don’t get us anything or you put no effort in we will know and not only will we hate you but so will our sister, our mom, and our BFF. You’ve been warned.

9. We don’t come right out and tell you things because it doesn’t count if we have to tell you to do it. We want you to think of it yourself. And we reserve the right to pout if you get it wrong.

10. If we spend 100 dollars on lingerie and 30 min trying to put it on perfectly, we’d really appreciate it if you waited more than 30 seconds to rip it off. Take a good long look, a lot of time, money, and self deprecation went into looking like a stripper for you.

11. Yes, we do need to get our hair done every 8 weeks…and we do need to spend the afternoon in Sephora finding the perfect lipstick or eyeshadow pallet. Chances are we didn’t look like a homeless gremlin when you met us and contrary to popular belief we do not wake up like this. So save your eye rolling.

12. Flowers are not just for F**k ups and anniversaries. We like them all the time. Just sayin.

13. Sometimes we run late. You may think you know what it’s like to have a bad hair day but you and your two inches of hair don’t know the true meaning of it. You may think that smearing mascara across your eyeshadow is a girl problem but to us it’s a freakin’ tragedy! And these things take time. So be patient with us when we run late to meet you, better yet come pick us up and prove chivalry is not dead.

14. When you order a drink for us at the bar with out asking what we want…we know you’re trying to be sweet and thoughtful but what you order us does not always have to be mixed with cranberry juice…some of us even like beer.

15. We love surprises we don’t need to be prepared for. Coffee, flowers, chocolate etc. If you expect us to try and dress for a surprise prepare to play 20 questions.

16. Too much jealousy is a huge turn off. No…no was not looking at him, my male coworkers do not hit on me and while I do think Matthew McConaughey is sexy I don’t compare you to him.

17. No one would nag if you just did it the first time we asked. You have the power to stop the nagging.

18. Do not ever under any circumstances call us crazy. Calling us crazy is like an open invitation to show you just how bat sh*t crazy we can be. This is for your own good.

19. If we love you we won’t fake it, we will instruct you, as ego crushing as it may be we’re not willing to risk deceiving you into thinking you’re great when you suck. If we just want you to leave we will fake it as fast and loud as we can. You’re welcome.

20. Sometimes we are going to want a
Burger and other times were going to diet. If we tell you were on a diet and then want McDonalds the next day, DO NOT remind us we went on a diet the day before. Our eating habits are like an emotional roller coaster, and you’re along for the ride. Just go with it.

21. If we text you we expect a timely, appropriate response. If we wrote you a novel, texting back “okay” 45 minuets later is not acceptable.

22. When we say, I don’t care, do whatever you want…” this absolutely does not mean do what you want. It means “danger Will Robinson Danger”…abort mission, I repeat, abort mission! Do.Not.Do.It.

23. We don’t believe you when you tell us you like us better with no make up on. That’s just weird. Saying you like us in sweats we’ll take because we know our ass look amazing in yoga pants.

24. Never refer to any of our friends as “Your hot friend [insert name here]”. Why you ask? Try it and find out.

25. Almost nothing works both ways. Just because we expect you to do the above does not mean we will always extend you the same courtesy. It’s the one double standard we get. Accept it.

Check out the article, 30 things guys wish girls knew at http://collegetimes.com/2014/01/07/rules-guys-wish-girls-knew

The Bachelor: Till Rose Ceremony Do Us Part

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It’s Bachelor Monday and you know what that means, enjoying a glass of wine while mocking the contestants and adding up the points from my bracket. Yes, we have a Bachelor bracket, like basketball bracket. It’s taken my obsession to a whole new level. I can now bet on the girls I’m judging from the comfort of my couch! Yay!
I am teased relentlessly for watching this show. I’ve been watching it since I was 12, I’m in a long term committed relationship with The Bachelor. I’ve been watching it for half my life and my Monday nights feel empty with out it…only other bachelor superfans will be able to relate to all the awesomeness! But we don’t watch for the reasons you think.

First of all, I’m not delusional, I do not think I’m watching a magical love story unfold. Sure there are adorable moments that make us swoon and fall in love right along with them. Anyone can fall in love away from real life on exotic vacations and fancy free dates…and apparently 10 other women. But it actually is exciting to see the couples who last and can take their relationship from beaches and helicopters back home to jobs and dishes. Let us all remember Trista and Ryan, Bachelorette season 1 success. Also Ashley and JP from one of the more recent Bachelorette seasons. (Sensing a patter? Yes, girls do choose better than guys). But Sean and Catherine are still adorable and going strong from the recent Bachelor past.

Second, finding love on TV is going to bring all the hot, crazy bitches out of the woodwork and we LOVE it. That’s what makes it so funny and fun to watch. All these crazy women vying for one mans attention is great television. Judge me if you want but I will happily sip my wine and judge, mock, and love these crazy bitches all season long. From the girls you love to the girls you love to hate, it’s pure entertainment.

Third, he’s hot and has good job….there is obviously something wrong with him. No seriously there is something wrong with him. How many, hot enough to be on tv, men with their shit together do you know that say things like “I’m ready for love” and are running around still single if they don’t want to be? None, huh? Yeah, that’s what I thought ! I mean it’s like a disaster waiting to happen. Through out the season you get to discover his flaws and root for your favorite crazy girl to win because you love their matching levels of dysfunction. Now I’ll give this seasons Bachelor a little credit, maybe his soul mate isn’t in a town of 400 people in Iowa, but will it be on The Bachelor? I have my doubts.

Fourth, you’ve gotta love the anticipation during the rose ceremony. There is nothing I love more than Chris Harrison coming out and announcing, that this is the final rose. Even though we can all see there is only one rose left on his table. Thanks for the dramatic affect Chris! You know you sit there nervous to hear your favorites name get called. And absolutely reeling when he calls the name of the two faced crazy girl everyone hates, every season has one. You find yourself screaming at the tv, “he’s not going to find love if he picks her!” And nothing says I’ve found love like hearing your name called among 15 other women. I’m
mean and I love to watch the girls embarrass themselves and cry after the rose ceremony…Why didn’t he pick me? I was here for all the right reasons She thought they were a match made in heaven until he didn’t call her name. *sigh*

Finally, the show has taken on a life of it’s own. Between The Bachelor viewing party’s you have with your girls and the new level we’ve achieved with our brackets it’s an excuse for a good time. It’s one of the few shows most of my girlfriends still watch and whether it’s getting everyone together or FaceTimeing during the show it’s a two hour excuse to hang out and drink wine with your girls. And if you really want to have a good time there is The Betches Love The Bachelor Drinking Game (http://www.betcheslovethis.com/article/betches-love-this-bachelor-drinking-game ) Ladies you are welcome! Enjoy!

Photo credit: http://abc.go.com/shows/the-bachelor/episode-guide

Studio Movie Grill: To Watch or To Dine

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Rocklin California’s newest hot spot, The Studio Movie Grill, food and drinks while you watch your movie. Seems like the perfect combination, right? Well I’m not sold…

When I first heard about the Studio Movie Grill I envisioned more of a Supper Club Atmosphere. Lounge like, so there servers can easily move around, with out blocking the screen, a table with room to eat, and enjoy your show.

Let me start by saying this was a stressful first experience. The website is not super user friendly. To even see what seats are available you must click on “buy tickets.” I bought my tickets online on Friday for a Saturday night movie, we needed four seats together and over 24 hours in advance I was only able to book the last four seats together for our second choice movie and time slot. In my opinion buying your tickets in advance is a MUST for a stress free experience.

Immediately after purchasing your tickets you receive an e-mail saying you should arrive twenty min early to order your food. I was unable to find this information on the website and it would have been helpful information to have when choosing a movie time.

When you arrive there is a Kiosk to the left to print your tickets so you can skip the line. This is not what the email tells you to do and none of this is clearly marked upon entering the theater. They lost big points with that. They say to get there early but if you get there too early you will be unable to go into your theater as they seat movies at particular times. Luckily there is a full service bar and lounge out front.

To my surprise it was a typical movie theater set up, not ideal or what I had in mind, the only differences were slightly wider aisles and TV trays connected to your seat, complete with a little red service button. We rushed to be there twenty min early only to find out you can order anything you want throughout the movie with just like click of a button and a 40 min wait…

The service was lacking. While you’re able to order through the entire movie I would still recommend getting there early as it took 45 min for our pitcher of beer to come out, which we ordered long before the movie started. This was the case with almost everything we ordered and our bill was incorrect.

The food and drinks were standard.
Good, but nothing special. Completely average and exactly what I expected. The adult spiked milkshake was delicious, but seemed light on the “spike”. The food, drinks and tickets were all moderately priced. It’s definitely an affordable date night. They also have good happy hour specials daily, check out the menu online.

For the most enjoyable viewing and dining experience, I would recommend sitting on the far right end. There are stairs only on the left hand side. So if you sit on the end to the right you are able watch the movie with minimal disturbances. The wait staff only walks in front of you when you hit your button. If you’re on the left hand side the severs walk in front of you every time someone in your row needs something.

Overall it’s a cool concept and I would recommend going for the experience if nothing else. I’d go back…in a few months …after they have hopefully worked out some of the kinks.

Image: https://m.studiomoviegrill.com

Sisters…it’s a love-hate thing

Sisters…I have 5 younger ones. So I’d say that makes me an expert! There is no relationship like it, one moment she’s your BFF and the next you wanna slap that bitch. You’d do anything for each other, including push each other to the brink of insanity.

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When you haven’t seen her in a while…there’s no one you’re more excited to see.

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Because you get to laugh with her…or at her.

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And gossip with her…

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You get to pass judgement…out of love of course.

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And laugh at her pain just because you’re the only person that can.

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And then destroy whoever caused it…

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You like her selfies…even though you know how stupid she looked while taking them.

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You steal each others stuff, and lie because they have such good style you’re not planning on giving it back. (This by far is my least favorite part about having sisters)

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Sisters, you’d kill for them…and sometimes you just want to kill them! The definition of a love-hate relationship.

Photo credit:
Instagram: @betches
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