Several of my 20 something friends are tying the knot and immediately jumping into bed to make babies! While I’m so excited to plan baby showers for them and to hold adorable newborns, I am also more than happy to hand the little one back the moment crying ensues! Possibly because I am the oldest 7. The six littles ones have made me all two familiar with motherhood, and anyone who was older when their siblings were born knows these same situations all too well! While we may be well equipped to handle motherhood someday our little siblings have not made us too eager to get there.
1.Only children and those close In age to their siblings won’t recall what it’s like being trapped in a car with a screaming baby or toddler throwing a temper tantrum. At 16 I remember wanted to jump out the window on the freeway when my 6 month old brother was shrieking, for no apparent reason. Nothing pushes you to the brink of your sanity faster than being locked in a car with a toddler who is kicking the back of your seat and screaming at the top of his lungs because he wants a happy meal.
2. I’m not in a rush to be a soccer mom because I’ve already been a soccer sister. I’ve been dragged out of bed at an ungodly hour on Saturday mornings to shuttle one of my siblings to soccer. Too many kids, too many games at the same time, poor mom can’t get to all of them so sister is an acceptable stand in. I work hard and I’d like to spend a few more years sleeping in on Saturday…after all it’s the day of pre-rest right?
3. They may be tiny and cute but they are ragingly expensive. From club soccer fees to prom dresses, I’ve heard my siblings come home demanding cash for it all. Not to mention you have to feed and clothe them and all that too. Right now I’d rather spend my extra cash on an expensive hand bag and take my baby brother out for froyo on the weekend than pay for a little one of my own.
4. Being 5-16 years older than my siblings I’ve spent a lot of time baby sitting! This has left me loving my freedom! From being able to shop without holding a hand to living entirely on my own schedule. Children tend to be on a fairly demanding time schedule. My parents recently went to Hawaii, I was in charge of 5 kids from 17-8 and let me tell at the end of the vacation, I wasn’t sure I wanted to have kids ever. Even at 15 they can pick up after themselves, and the little ones need help with homework and lunches and getting to and from school. It’s exhausting, I have a hard enough time with just myself. It gave me a whole new respect for my mom, and the fact that she doesn’t drink an bottle of wine to herself nightly. Needless to say I was ready for a Grande Marg upon their arrival.
5. When I go out to dinner whether it’s for a date night or girls night, I am looking for a grown up good time….and nothing kills the vibe more than a family with tiny tots, yelling, crying and climbing on the table eliciting stares from restaurant goers. While my friends who are only children are shooting them dirty looks, how dare they take their children out to dinner, I avoid staring in their direction and instead of a glare I give the mom a sympathetic look and smile. I do this because remember what it was like being 14 and having 5 year old twins and a infant dining out with me, I know exactly how mortified that poor mom is because I was that mortified older sister. And at the end of the evening I get to leave the restaurant childless and that poor mom has to go home with those wild children.
6. I’ve seen my mom bend over backwards to make my siblings happy with out so much as a thank you, let alone the acknowledgment that she rearranged her whole schedule to drive them to practice or she just bought them new cleats that cost as much as my car payment. I think I would rather stick to my thankless job, at least I get to leave at 5 and I get paid for my over time.
I love kids but growing up with them made me acutely aware that those cute little bundles of joy are expensive, loud, hindrances to fun. While I’m sure their are an abundance of joys you experience as a parent that I could relate to, like how proud I was of my baby bro the first time I saw him score a goal in soccer, or when I saw my little sister, one of my closest friends, graduate from high school with tears in my eyes…when it comes time to get married I will be busy planning my honeymoon in Venice, not planning pregnancies. This girl is in no hurry to have a screaming baby in the backseat of her car…so a big thanks to all my siblings for my views on motherhood.