For The Love of Airports

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Airports, one of the exciting parts of vacation. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a fan of the actual flying. During take off, landing and any turbulence I’m a hot mess. Thank God (and my dad) for the drink tickets I’m taking on this flight! A few years ago I went to NY with my best friend, she made me see the the magic of air ports.

There is something to be said for the hustle and bustle and people watching. The restaurants and coffee shops, the magazine stands, it almost seems fun.

I made it through security with so much ease I now have an hour and a half to spare and unfortunately its feeling a little less magical today. I’m
Surrounded by business men in over prices suits, brokering deals on cells phones and crying toddlers who I pray won't be accompanying me on my flight. As well as over priced food and drinks….11 dollars for a Bloody Mary? Come on.

Feeling slightly over dressed in my stilettos and ripped jeans…or under dressed,having abandoned my business casual for vacation attire, depending on who I'm sitting next to. This just isn't as glamorous as I remember. Although I suppose airport security killed the classic movie moments long ago when they no longer allowed those with out a ticket to the gate. Killing all the airport romance, no sweet goodbyes, kisses at the gate or last min attempts to stop a lover from leaving at the last moment. C'est la vie.

Sitting at the bar people watching and blogging and wondering if people are watching me. Curious to see if someone will strike up a conversation. That's the other thing about airports, it's one of the few places where people feel totally comfortable striking up a conversation with a random stranger. I once sat with a woman on a flight who told me all about how she was flying across the country to meet a woman she'd met on match.com, striking up this conversation after I had popped in my ear buds…She attempted to calm my fears by telling me it wasn't her time so the plane won't crash. Begging me to ask the question well what if crash and you live but I don't? I told you I didn't like flying.
When someone asks me about myself I'm always tempted to change my life and be someone new. Tell them I'm a journalist flying on business to cover some fabulous Hollywood event. Maybe someday…till then it's time for me to board my flight on what I'm sure will be a fabulous vacation.

It’s Valentines Day…Somebody Pass the Tequila

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Valentine’s day is less than a week away and the social media world is already a flutter with angst and preciousness. Single girls are bitching and threatening to sign off of all social media for Vday…how tragic. Cheating boyfriends are busy making dinner reservations for BAE, while ordering his side chick flowers…for delivery of course. And the average BF is busy scrambling to make last min reservations and pick up flowers in a feeble attempt to placate his girlfriend. Friends with benefits avoid each other like the plague. And girlfriends are subscribing their bfs to the beer of the month club by the thousands.

The single girls broadcasting their relationship status, or lack there of, are in need of a little tough love this Valentines Day. While you may feel forever alone now, that will not always be the case. And if you look back through past Facebook albums I’m willing to bet that you’ll find a disgustingly adorable Vday post similar to the ones you’re bitching about now. Calm down…it’s nothing a dose of sarcasm and a shot of tequila can’t fix. Not to mention, it could be worse, there are children starving in Africa…at least you can eat (or drink) your feelings.
Every other day of the month you’re preaching about your single girl independence. Go out and be the independent woman you claim to be. Go buy yourself a bouquet, it’s not pathetic, if you wanted flowers to go in your kitchen vase any other day of the year you’d buy them right?! Or better yet go buy yourself a bottle of tequila and those chocolate covered strawberries you’ve been eyeing and have a good old, man bashing, Vday with your single ladies. After all, some of the most memorable Vdays are the ones you spend with your girlfriends.
So before you write and dramatic status about how sick you are of seeing your girls post pictures of flowers, chocolates, presents, (and god forbid engagement rings) this Valentines day take a moment and remember you’ve been there. You have posted flowers with obnoxious captions about your “babe” or vom inducing happy valentines day kissing pics of you and your man. If you haven’t, next year you may want to and you don’t wanna be a hypocrite, right?! So be a good sport, quit your bitching and like your girlfriends posts. After all, it’s her turn to be the spoiled girl on valentines day. She’s held your hand and your hair through your break ups and make ups, you owe her.

And a note to all you boyfriends out there. Even if we say Valentines Day isn’t a big deal and we play it off like it’s a consumer holiday, don’t believe us. Even if it’s not our favorite holiday, we are secretly hoping you do something to acknowledge the holiday. As much as we love being included in this romantic holiday, and let’s be honest here girls, we do. (I’ve never felt more special and envied than the Valentines day my boyfriend had roses and a teddy bear delivered to my office.) There is something to be said about getting flowers, just about any other day of the year. As much fun as it is to celebrate Vday, getting flowers on a random day for no reason can be 100 times more romantic than getting flowers the same day every other girlfriend does because that’s what boyfriends supposed to do. So keep that in mind fellas, we like to be spoiled the other 364 days of the year too!

Cheers to all my single ladies out there, don’t forget the salt and limes. And to all my couples…post away, you have my blessing ….Happy Valentines Day! Xoxo.

Bad Boys are Bad Habits

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It’s the age old question…Good Guys vs. Bad Boys. (I’m seriously channeling my inner Carrie Bradshaw for this one.) Bad boys are the hardest habit to break…but why? Are women just gluttons for punishment or is there a bad boy high we just can’t get from a good guy?

Bad boys are never boring, you’re on a constant roller coaster ride of highs and lows, ergo you never lose that spark. That intensity that you feel at the beginning of all relationships feels ever lasting, comparing it to the fading spark that comes with being in a relationship with a good guy is unfair and unrealistic.

The giddy, on top of the world feeling women derive from compliments and attention bad boys give stems from the fact that they aren’t really “ours”. You don’t have the comfort of knowing he’s he will always be there, you’re in a constant competition with every other woman in the room. He is not your boyfriend and no matter how you feel, what he says, or what you tell yourself…he’s probably just a guy you roll in the sheets with.

At some point every woman grows in maturity and walks away (or takes an extended vacation) from the off and on dramatic saga of being in a pseudo relationship with a bad boy and finds herself a good guy. It’s like a chronic illness, they show up when you least expect it and throw your life into a tail spin. Don’t let them. You’ve found your stable, dependable and adoring good guy….and then your bad boy comes out of the wood work to comment on your photo and tell you how good you look, as if he’s been pining for you all this time. When really he’s been whoring around. He has not changed and never will…but all those feelings rush back anyway making you think he was always truly your soul mate. But he probably isn’t …do you ever ask yourself how you’d feel about him if he wasn’t so bad??

Bad boys are never really there for you, they don’t stay in and watch Netflix, they don’t make you breakfast in bed, or take care of you when your sick. They are only around for fun, drinks, bed time, and drama. You don’t see them daily, they aren’t with you through the good, bad and the ugly. There is no time for them to become a part of your monotonous daily routine. Consistency kills the magic …it’s an unfortunate part of life. A good guy will work on keeping the magic alive over time. A bad boy will be on to the next…probably before you even know the spark went out.

So why is it that women always feel like leaving the toxic bad boy and his spark behind is some form of settling? Probably because in the back of your mind you know that nothing will ever compare to the feeling that came with absolute uncertainty, cheating, lies and deceit that led to passionate make ups. And almost all women have a bad habit of looking back in their tumultuous relationship and only remember the good times. So are women absolute relationship masochists?? The ones that sacrifice constant happiness (even if it’s less exciting) with a good guy to go back to a bad boy probably are just a little bit.

That said any women who has had a tortured on and off romance with a bad boy is a lot like a recovering drug addict. It’s mind over matter. No matter how bad you crave the high you have to fight it, because relapsing with turn your life upside down, you’ll hurt people you care about…for a brief fling that will once again leave you rock bottom….a place that you called home once upon a time. And that wasn’t fun the the first 50 times was it? It may take years to realize but a truly grown woman will choose the good guy at the end of the day.

Monday Night Struggles: The Bachelor Bracket Saga Continues

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Kelsey’s attention whoring, most likely faux, panic attack has left our brackets hanging in the balance, with no rose ceremony and more drama than one bottle of red wine can combat. Looking at who’s left on my bracket I can’t help but think WTF?! …and Wow ABC, kudos to your editing skills!

My pick for the winner is Kelsey…I know right, how did I manage to pick the crazy bitch that everyone hates, to be my winner. This is where I tip my hat to ABC, the season previews skillfully hid her crazy. After going on and on about her “Amazing story” I’m left thinking either she’s making everything about her dead hubby up or she killed him! Who’s with me? I’m actually hoping for Chris’s sake that I lose. Also, does anyone else think Chris’s slight melt down pre-rose ceremony caused her to fake a panic attack in a desperate attempt to get a rose? She scares me.

Jade is my runner up. She’s so cute and sweet and I was seriously wishing I had picked her to win. Then I found out shy little Jade posed for play boy! Can’t wait for that bomb to drop. I’m betting Farmer Chris’s sisters will be shocked that the Cinderella they picked for their precious baby brother is moonlighting as a play boy model. All I could think looking at her nudie was, did she get hypothermia during the photo shoot??

Then there is Whitney, I’m thinking she might win but omfg her voice is annoying. Good luck listening to that! I’m pretty sure if he picked her, her type A personality would be running his tiny Iowa town in no time.

And Caitlin, she’s my pick for the next bachelorette. Cute, entertaining and she’s going to take one look at Chris’s home town and yell “just kidding”!

I think I could write a whole blog on how much I hate Ashley I! Every time she speaks I think “ohhh myyy godddd Ashley I STFU and stop crying you annoying whore.” I literally want to slap this girl every time she talks about being a virgin, cries, blinks because her eye lashes are sooooo fake, and when ever she has a jealous temper tantrum…so basically I want to slap her like the whole episode.

Every rose ceremony when he calls Samantha…I see her and go “who the F**k is that??” I think she’s said maybe five words the whole season. Has she ever even talked to Chris?? He’s been dropping girls like flies and yet she’s still here?? I’m confused.

Megan…I can’t tell if she’s always drunk or if she’s dumb as a post. Either way she’s adorable and I want to party with her…and explain that yes New Mexico is a state and Mexico is a country. Clearly a cute guy sat in front of her in geography.

Who the hell allowed Mackenzie to go on the Bachelor. She’s is 21 and acts about 12….stop talking about aliens and go home to your kid. I believe the show you were looking for was teen mom. Sorry not sorry.

Carly… I hope when she watches this back she counts how many times she says “like” every episode. “My like ex wouldn’t like touch me and like didn’t like know why”…that would be enough for me to not give her a rose. If she got rid of the incessant likes and stepped her eyebrow game up, I could root for her!

Becca, bachelor virgin #2…I have no complaints so far. She’s flying just under the radar and she could be a serious contender.

And last but not least, one of Farmer Chris’s favorites Britt. Did she really think she could pull a fast one on us? We know what nap means, as Kaitlyn would say, he plowed Britt’s field. All I could think when that door closed was “gosh I really hoped she showered.” She may have been make up ready at 4:30 AM but was she clean? One things for sure Britt is a dirty girl. Hearing her say she wanted 100 babies made me want Chris to pick her and turn her into a baby factory just to teach her a lesson about honesty.

I seriously can’t wait for the After the final rose because farmer Chris is going to be wondering why he kept Ashely I so long, and finally get to see how crazy Kelsey is…unless he picks her…coz she will probably murder him before the last episode airs.

Image via buzzfeed.com