The Biggest Lie Your Mom Told You 

  Sure there was Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy but those little white lies your mom told you brought you joy as child, so we’re willing to give her a pass on that. 

But remember back in middle school when the boys who liked you teased you relentlessly or when the mean girls wouldn’t let you sit at their table in high school because on wed they wore pink and you were wearing blue? You went home and cried to your mom and she told you when you got older it would get better? False, Mom. 

Myth # 1: Boys do not mature with age, at least not at an appropriate rate. In a combined trail and error dating test, my friends and I have determined that (at least in our experience) even at 34 (and below) “men” are still immature enough to be a complete pain in the ass to us as females. While the games have elevated from teasing you on the playground to the more sophisticated I’m going to be totally about you for two weeks and then drop off the face of the earth…either way, were still not impressed. Apparently when our moms told us that they would be less confusing and more mature as they age they said it hopefully rather than factually. Let’s be honest, you still question your dad’s maturity level at times….I’m not holding out much hope. If they are going to be immature and confusing let’s hope they can at least be hot and rich. Am I right,ladies!? 

Myth #2: Mean girls are still mean, they have just traded in their Jean mini skirts and flip flops for business casual ware and stilettos. The same girls that called you fat and slutty in high school (even though you were a size two virgin) are still mean girl but now with big boobs. However, now we just refer to them as bitches. The most epic fail in life was allowing grown up mom mean girls to have a Facebook…who decided that was ok? It has taken bullying to a whole new level! Now, not only do we have their terrorist daughters to deal with, their mean girl moms can bully right from their IPhone. There is nothing more perplexing than receiving and angry message from your boyfriend’s ex girlfriend’s mom….messaging you just  to let you know her perfect beautiful daughter is more amazing than you will ever be…nothing makes you pause and think wait what…but you’re a grown up?!… Faster than a 60 year old woman you’ve never met belittling you via Facebook message. Mean girl moms on Facebook, thanks but no thanks. And there is no way your electronicly challenged mom could have seen this one coming. 

There are exceptions to every rule: This should really go with out saying. But obviously, there is going to be the mean girl you run into at the bar during winter break and majorly drunk bond with because she has had a taste of her own bitchy medicine and learned the error of her ways.  The high school torment she inflicted on you is now a humerous anecdote you share at cocktail parties since you’ve become besties. 

And sure guys mature on tocertain level extent as they age. I received a Facebook message from my cheating, dirt bag, football player, high school boyfriend, apologizing for treating me crap…granted this was only after Karma served him with a big dose of his own cheating medicine. But still, on rare occasions Boys do show us that that have matured in some respect, it’s just typically ripped away from us shortly after in a tornado of confusion. 

Sorry to say mom, some things never change…some girls will always be bitches, and odds are we will never completely understand WTF guys are thinking, no matter how old they get. 

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