The type of person I will never trust or understand is the person who claims they do not celebrate or get excited about birthdays. Like what kind of person hates birthdays!? I’ll tell you…the kind with no childhood or no soul. Betches love all birthdays, it’s an excuse to party, drink, dress up and revel in absolute excessivness. Who doesn’t love that??
1. Calling all Betches! A birthday trip/party is an excellent excuse to get all your girls together, near or far, blonde or brunette, everyone shows up for a Betches birthday. What’s more fun than having all your girls in one Hotel suite?
2. Team Excess. Too much of a good thing? Absolutely not possible on a birthday weekend. Bottle service anyone? You’re the birthday princess, you don’t want to be mingling with the common club goers! It’s the perfect occasion to throw down on a bottle and get a booth. VIP is always a birthday necessity!
3. It’s all about me. What other weekend of the year, it’s the focus 100% on you!? You get to revel in all your birthday attention. A sash or tiara is a must to make the most out of your birthday experience. A Tiara and/or sash calls attention to your special day…who answers the call you ask? Men who by you and your girls drinks! Duh!
4. Betches are like (an expensive) fine wine. We get better with age! Obviously! And what do I mean by age? We’re 25 now, we can afford our own bottle service and pool side cabana! We are no longer in college and we don’t need our drunkest friend to make out with the best man at a bachelor party so we can join their table…but maybe we will do that anyway, coz it’s fun…not cuz we have too.
5. B-Day Behavior. What better excuse to get away with something than saying “it’s my birthday!” Who cares that you’re 25 and flirting with a 21 year old frat boy….it’s your birthday! Coug it up! Slip the hot waiter your number, blow a kiss at the hottie on the street bike from your limo, make out with a random stranger. Get wild!
6. Calories don’t count. It’s one of the few weekends a year where you deserve to eat whatever you want! It’s your birthday so if you wanna eat a large cheese pizza, and wash it down with a dozen mini cupcakes, you do you girl! Just make sure you’re hang over is aggressive enough to ensure you don’t look bloated while you’re recovering poolside! You’ve been dieting months so you look fabulous in your birthday bikini. So treat yo self.
7. Two words…birthday dress. The only other day besides NYE that’s it’s ok to wear sparkles and sequence from head to toe.
8. The best excuse to take time off work! You’re in an airport on Friday morning sipping a Bloody Mary while you’re co-workers are clocking in at the office. The best part? You’re getting paid to drink that Bloody Mary! Cheers to you birthday girl!
9. As much as you love being spoiled on your birthday…you also love celebrating your Betches birthday’s so that you can spoil them and show them what an awesome friend they truly are…usually by getting them blacked out. What are friends for.
10. Sorry not sorry IG. It’s your birthday vacay and you’re off being fabulous! So of course you’re going to post an absolutely obnoxious about of birthday pictures! They are all so cute! And it’s your birthday so all your followers can just shut up and double tap, while they are at home being jealous of your awesome inside joke hashtags. #sorrynotsorry #bdaybehavior