It’s the age old question…Good Guys vs. Bad Boys. (I’m seriously channeling my inner Carrie Bradshaw for this one.) Bad boys are the hardest habit to break…but why? Are women just gluttons for punishment or is there a bad boy high we just can’t get from a good guy?
Bad boys are never boring, you’re on a constant roller coaster ride of highs and lows, ergo you never lose that spark. That intensity that you feel at the beginning of all relationships feels ever lasting, comparing it to the fading spark that comes with being in a relationship with a good guy is unfair and unrealistic.
The giddy, on top of the world feeling women derive from compliments and attention bad boys give stems from the fact that they aren’t really “ours”. You don’t have the comfort of knowing he’s he will always be there, you’re in a constant competition with every other woman in the room. He is not your boyfriend and no matter how you feel, what he says, or what you tell yourself…he’s probably just a guy you roll in the sheets with.
At some point every woman grows in maturity and walks away (or takes an extended vacation) from the off and on dramatic saga of being in a pseudo relationship with a bad boy and finds herself a good guy. It’s like a chronic illness, they show up when you least expect it and throw your life into a tail spin. Don’t let them. You’ve found your stable, dependable and adoring good guy….and then your bad boy comes out of the wood work to comment on your photo and tell you how good you look, as if he’s been pining for you all this time. When really he’s been whoring around. He has not changed and never will…but all those feelings rush back anyway making you think he was always truly your soul mate. But he probably isn’t …do you ever ask yourself how you’d feel about him if he wasn’t so bad??
Bad boys are never really there for you, they don’t stay in and watch Netflix, they don’t make you breakfast in bed, or take care of you when your sick. They are only around for fun, drinks, bed time, and drama. You don’t see them daily, they aren’t with you through the good, bad and the ugly. There is no time for them to become a part of your monotonous daily routine. Consistency kills the magic …it’s an unfortunate part of life. A good guy will work on keeping the magic alive over time. A bad boy will be on to the next…probably before you even know the spark went out.
So why is it that women always feel like leaving the toxic bad boy and his spark behind is some form of settling? Probably because in the back of your mind you know that nothing will ever compare to the feeling that came with absolute uncertainty, cheating, lies and deceit that led to passionate make ups. And almost all women have a bad habit of looking back in their tumultuous relationship and only remember the good times. So are women absolute relationship masochists?? The ones that sacrifice constant happiness (even if it’s less exciting) with a good guy to go back to a bad boy probably are just a little bit.
That said any women who has had a tortured on and off romance with a bad boy is a lot like a recovering drug addict. It’s mind over matter. No matter how bad you crave the high you have to fight it, because relapsing with turn your life upside down, you’ll hurt people you care about…for a brief fling that will once again leave you rock bottom….a place that you called home once upon a time. And that wasn’t fun the the first 50 times was it? It may take years to realize but a truly grown woman will choose the good guy at the end of the day.