The Girl You Love to Hate

 

 If you were a fan of the original Teen Mom on MTV, like I was, you probably remember Lovable Maci, Ryan the hot bad boy, and their adorable baby boy Bentley. I was a huge a Maci fan! And even though Ryan was an ass, girls watching usually had a soft spot for him because he was so darn attractive.  And then along came Dalis, his new girlfriend. The girl we all loved to hate! She was shattering our hopes that the fairy tale we wanted, that Ryan and Maci would end up together, may not come to be true. She was for all intents and purposes the shows villan….but why?  It wasn’t Dalis that caused their break up, and she seems like a likable, hard working woman! 

You know how they say don’t judge until you’ve walked a mile in someone else’s shoes? Well it’s true…I judged Dalis… And then I found myself stumbling  through life in a gorgeous pair of strappy, hot pink stilettos that I had no idea how to walk in, or how much they would hurt my feet after walking a few miles. 

I found myself in a similar position to Dalis  and it me sick to think of how I judged her. I can’t even watch the show anymore, because after you’ve lived it, your point of view completely changes. 

Saying its not easy to be in a relationship that involves a child, custody battles and the struggle to co-parent and have all parties be civil with one another is the understatement of the century. It takes an incredibly strong, self aware, and confident individual to step into that situation and handle it with the class and grace it demands. And it’s easy to faulter and not take the high road when faced with challenges, judgement and rude, demeaning comments. Not to meantion what it means and the responsibility that comes with being in a child’s life. 

Maci and her friends had their moments of cattiness toward Dalis on the show, and in some respects she may have had a right too. Overall Maci handled Dallis being in Ryan and Bentley’s lives with acceptance and maturity. Which is a lot more than I can say for the “version of Maci” I’ve had to contend with. 

Dating a man with a son, I had a lot of people who were incredibly supportive. On the flip side I had friends and family meet that decision with criticism, judgement and commentary behind my back. Similar to the way I felt about Dalis when I watched the show. Looking back I’ve got to commend her, she stepped into the role of being Ryan’s girlfriend in front of America and probably felt the wrath of Maci fans every where. I had a hard enough time just dealing with the wrath of “my (slightly more evil version of) Maci” and her friends. 

Bottom line is all those things your mom told you about not judging a book by its cover or put yourself in the other person shoes before you judge them…well they were probably all true no matter how cliche. My sincerest apologies go out to Dalis, she was the girl we loved to hate and I truly feel bad about that. She really didn’t deserve it or do anything wrong and now that I’ve walked through life in a similar pair of shoes I see that. As for me, I’m not sure I’ll ever master the art of walking in these stilettos I tried on. 

Photo From: http://www.wetpaint.com/teen-mom/articles/2014-07-08-dalis-connell-talks-breakup-with-ryan-edwards

Monday Night Struggles: The Bachelor Bracket Saga Continues

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Kelsey’s attention whoring, most likely faux, panic attack has left our brackets hanging in the balance, with no rose ceremony and more drama than one bottle of red wine can combat. Looking at who’s left on my bracket I can’t help but think WTF?! …and Wow ABC, kudos to your editing skills!

My pick for the winner is Kelsey…I know right, how did I manage to pick the crazy bitch that everyone hates, to be my winner. This is where I tip my hat to ABC, the season previews skillfully hid her crazy. After going on and on about her “Amazing story” I’m left thinking either she’s making everything about her dead hubby up or she killed him! Who’s with me? I’m actually hoping for Chris’s sake that I lose. Also, does anyone else think Chris’s slight melt down pre-rose ceremony caused her to fake a panic attack in a desperate attempt to get a rose? She scares me.

Jade is my runner up. She’s so cute and sweet and I was seriously wishing I had picked her to win. Then I found out shy little Jade posed for play boy! Can’t wait for that bomb to drop. I’m betting Farmer Chris’s sisters will be shocked that the Cinderella they picked for their precious baby brother is moonlighting as a play boy model. All I could think looking at her nudie was, did she get hypothermia during the photo shoot??

Then there is Whitney, I’m thinking she might win but omfg her voice is annoying. Good luck listening to that! I’m pretty sure if he picked her, her type A personality would be running his tiny Iowa town in no time.

And Caitlin, she’s my pick for the next bachelorette. Cute, entertaining and she’s going to take one look at Chris’s home town and yell “just kidding”!

I think I could write a whole blog on how much I hate Ashley I! Every time she speaks I think “ohhh myyy godddd Ashley I STFU and stop crying you annoying whore.” I literally want to slap this girl every time she talks about being a virgin, cries, blinks because her eye lashes are sooooo fake, and when ever she has a jealous temper tantrum…so basically I want to slap her like the whole episode.

Every rose ceremony when he calls Samantha…I see her and go “who the F**k is that??” I think she’s said maybe five words the whole season. Has she ever even talked to Chris?? He’s been dropping girls like flies and yet she’s still here?? I’m confused.

Megan…I can’t tell if she’s always drunk or if she’s dumb as a post. Either way she’s adorable and I want to party with her…and explain that yes New Mexico is a state and Mexico is a country. Clearly a cute guy sat in front of her in geography.

Who the hell allowed Mackenzie to go on the Bachelor. She’s is 21 and acts about 12….stop talking about aliens and go home to your kid. I believe the show you were looking for was teen mom. Sorry not sorry.

Carly… I hope when she watches this back she counts how many times she says “like” every episode. “My like ex wouldn’t like touch me and like didn’t like know why”…that would be enough for me to not give her a rose. If she got rid of the incessant likes and stepped her eyebrow game up, I could root for her!

Becca, bachelor virgin #2…I have no complaints so far. She’s flying just under the radar and she could be a serious contender.

And last but not least, one of Farmer Chris’s favorites Britt. Did she really think she could pull a fast one on us? We know what nap means, as Kaitlyn would say, he plowed Britt’s field. All I could think when that door closed was “gosh I really hoped she showered.” She may have been make up ready at 4:30 AM but was she clean? One things for sure Britt is a dirty girl. Hearing her say she wanted 100 babies made me want Chris to pick her and turn her into a baby factory just to teach her a lesson about honesty.

I seriously can’t wait for the After the final rose because farmer Chris is going to be wondering why he kept Ashely I so long, and finally get to see how crazy Kelsey is…unless he picks her…coz she will probably murder him before the last episode airs.

Image via buzzfeed.com

Excuse me but I didn’t order a catfish?!

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Have 20 something’s given up? Have we really relinquished ourselves to online dating because were so desperate to find love at the ripe old age of 23? We’re sacrificing chemistry for convenience. While I haven’t experienced online dating myself I’ve watched my friends experience some online dating success and some Tinder nightmares.

Online Dating Pros

1. The Pool Keeps Shrinking. Once you graduate college, you go from trying to weed out the douche bags from the the nice guys, to just trying to meet any guy! There are friends of friends, co-workers, the few randoms from the bar and god forbid exes. Bottom line the older you get the fewer opportunities you have to meet new people.

2. Ain’t nobody got time for that. We’re busy ladies! We have jobs and other commitments that do not allow the time that is required to meet a guy. When we have time to go out with our friends we want to enjoy their company, not constantly be on the prowl.

3. Been there, done that. We’re over guys in bars. We just spent four years in college bringing guys home from bars. Having drunk hook ups and ill fated flings after meeting drunk. We’re looking for something more than what you can find in a bar on a Friday night.

4. True Life: We Met Online. Giving credit where it’s due, a friend of a friend, at age 24 is in a successful relationship with a guy she met on match. He is 26, with a good job, his own place and his life is together. I ask myself what kind of 20 something guy goes on match? My first thought? A desperate creep! Apparently the one she found is just a little more mellow and job oriented.

Online Dating Cons

1. Meet Cute. When your kids someday ask you how you met your answer will be online. So much for an adorable story. No phone number written on a Starbucks cup, or an instant connection after bumping into each other at a crowded gallery opening. Or in my case too much tequila caused me to sit on his lap…while he was bar-tending, hey it was cuter than it sounds!

2. So inorganic. You can’t manufacture true chemistry. You can’t buy butterflies. No test can match you with your soulmate. It’s not a perfect system, like every girl out there trolling the bars you’re going to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. Odds are the first guy you find on match isn’t going to be the love of your life.

3. And then there was Tinder…it’s like an online booty call. Yes, I know one person who is in a tinder relationship, however, some of the dates my friends have been on.OMG. Absolutely horrifying! It’s more like an online booty call. As if there wasn’t a stigma attached to online dating already, tinder came along and put the cherry on top. I’m judging and all my girls know it.

4. Catfish. There is an entire television show dedicated to the crazy, creepy, scum of the earth who screw with people online. Remember when you swiped right on Tinder, you know, tall, blonde, blue eyes, fit. Odds are if he’s not a total a**hole, then he is actually 300 lbs, eating pizza in his parents basement and loving your photos as well. Thanks MTV you’ve now encouraged all the crazies to
Come out of the woodwork…again. (Sidenote: don’t get me wrong I love catfish the tv show)

Bottom line, in my opinion I think 20 something’s should keep hope alive and stay off online dating sites. I think we need to feel spark and continue to be adventurous. Leave your options open! Ask me again in 5 1/2 years and I may be far more encouraging when it comes to online dating at 30 but for now at least I get a kick out of hearing about my friend’s infamous tinder dates!

The Bachelor: Till Rose Ceremony Do Us Part

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It’s Bachelor Monday and you know what that means, enjoying a glass of wine while mocking the contestants and adding up the points from my bracket. Yes, we have a Bachelor bracket, like basketball bracket. It’s taken my obsession to a whole new level. I can now bet on the girls I’m judging from the comfort of my couch! Yay!
I am teased relentlessly for watching this show. I’ve been watching it since I was 12, I’m in a long term committed relationship with The Bachelor. I’ve been watching it for half my life and my Monday nights feel empty with out it…only other bachelor superfans will be able to relate to all the awesomeness! But we don’t watch for the reasons you think.

First of all, I’m not delusional, I do not think I’m watching a magical love story unfold. Sure there are adorable moments that make us swoon and fall in love right along with them. Anyone can fall in love away from real life on exotic vacations and fancy free dates…and apparently 10 other women. But it actually is exciting to see the couples who last and can take their relationship from beaches and helicopters back home to jobs and dishes. Let us all remember Trista and Ryan, Bachelorette season 1 success. Also Ashley and JP from one of the more recent Bachelorette seasons. (Sensing a patter? Yes, girls do choose better than guys). But Sean and Catherine are still adorable and going strong from the recent Bachelor past.

Second, finding love on TV is going to bring all the hot, crazy bitches out of the woodwork and we LOVE it. That’s what makes it so funny and fun to watch. All these crazy women vying for one mans attention is great television. Judge me if you want but I will happily sip my wine and judge, mock, and love these crazy bitches all season long. From the girls you love to the girls you love to hate, it’s pure entertainment.

Third, he’s hot and has good job….there is obviously something wrong with him. No seriously there is something wrong with him. How many, hot enough to be on tv, men with their shit together do you know that say things like “I’m ready for love” and are running around still single if they don’t want to be? None, huh? Yeah, that’s what I thought ! I mean it’s like a disaster waiting to happen. Through out the season you get to discover his flaws and root for your favorite crazy girl to win because you love their matching levels of dysfunction. Now I’ll give this seasons Bachelor a little credit, maybe his soul mate isn’t in a town of 400 people in Iowa, but will it be on The Bachelor? I have my doubts.

Fourth, you’ve gotta love the anticipation during the rose ceremony. There is nothing I love more than Chris Harrison coming out and announcing, that this is the final rose. Even though we can all see there is only one rose left on his table. Thanks for the dramatic affect Chris! You know you sit there nervous to hear your favorites name get called. And absolutely reeling when he calls the name of the two faced crazy girl everyone hates, every season has one. You find yourself screaming at the tv, “he’s not going to find love if he picks her!” And nothing says I’ve found love like hearing your name called among 15 other women. I’m
mean and I love to watch the girls embarrass themselves and cry after the rose ceremony…Why didn’t he pick me? I was here for all the right reasons She thought they were a match made in heaven until he didn’t call her name. *sigh*

Finally, the show has taken on a life of it’s own. Between The Bachelor viewing party’s you have with your girls and the new level we’ve achieved with our brackets it’s an excuse for a good time. It’s one of the few shows most of my girlfriends still watch and whether it’s getting everyone together or FaceTimeing during the show it’s a two hour excuse to hang out and drink wine with your girls. And if you really want to have a good time there is The Betches Love The Bachelor Drinking Game (http://www.betcheslovethis.com/article/betches-love-this-bachelor-drinking-game ) Ladies you are welcome! Enjoy!

Photo credit: http://abc.go.com/shows/the-bachelor/episode-guide

Friends: How weird is the Pilot Episode?!

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Welcoming 2015 by binge watching Friends on Netflix. I cannot think if a better New Years gift, thank you Netflix. Nursing my hangover, cuddled up in bed with a cup of coffee and Friends. I thought I’d seen every episode 50+ times. Apparently that was not the case with the pilot! Here’s a few thoughts I am sure everyone can relate to!

1. Omg Rachel’s wedding dress is hideous. I can’t even talk about the vail.

2. So weird seeing Rachel and Monica before they were besties.

3. Joey’s hair LOL …why?

4. Monica is wearing suspenders. Watching this is going to force me to relive all the horrible fashion blunders of the 90’s.

5. Rachel’s hair was definitely not up to par this first episode. So much for the famous Rachel cut!

6. I love how awkward chandler is.

7. Joey is comparing girls to ice cream…Jimmy’s are a topping…what the hell are Jimmy’s anyway?

8. This episode is depressing. All show pilots suck compared to the later episodes. Rachel and Ross are pouty and annoying.

9. Rachel just made coffee for the first time. And it sucked. Rachel is my spirit animal. She gets me.

10. Paul the wine guy (Monica’s date last night) just had to do the best walk of shame. He had to pass all the friends from Monica’s room to the door. I want this to happen to someone I know.

11. Quote of the episode: “you guys all really have jobs?” -Rachel bahaha I love her. Nope just kidding…”wish me luck I’m gonna go get one of those job thingys” YES!! I’m just gonna keep saying it. I love Rachel!

12. Monica is such a good high school friend to let Rachel stay…I don’t like anyone from high school that much and I’m not that nice. So glad she did they have an epic friendship!

13. Lol oh Ross you thought Rachel didn’t know you liked her in highschool…that’s why we love you.

14. The beginning of Ross and Rachel…he’s going to ask her out sometime…I have butterflies. It’s magical!

15. Phoebe is weird. And we love it.

In 15 seconds episode two starts. Best day ever.

The Great New Year’s Eve Complex

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Nothing gets me into the holiday spirit like the Chrismukkah episode of the The O.C. Of course since it’s one of my all time favorite shows, breaking out this one festive episode almost always leads to binge watching all the way through Chismukkah if season two. Another seasonal episode I love watch and to hate is “The Countdown”. This New Year’s Eve episode imparted wisdom that would haunt me for years to come. The theme of the episode…”the way you spend your New Years is how you’re going to spend the rest of your year.”

Wait what!?! Who the hell decided that?? Thanks for that gem! This leads me to ponder oh so many terrifying questions! These words have literally haunted me since I was 14…ten years later I now have a slightly tighter grasp on reality. But I’m still left with a few grappling questions!

How literally are we supposed to take this? I mean is it symbolic? I’m not
Going to spend my entire year like I spent my New Years, literally. I mean as much as I would love to spend a year going to parties, wearing a sequined dress and way too much glitter eye liner while constantly popping champagne…that’s just not realistic.

Are you supposed to take it situationally?? Like for example…if someone spends NYE fighting with their significant other, does that mean their relationship is facing impending doom in the upcoming year? Or if they share a romantic kiss at midnight their destined for a year of romance? Or what if you’re the drunk single girl
At the bar and you find yourself lip locking with a random when the clock strokes 12…is your fate to be the slutty single girl for yet another year?! Say it ain’t so!

If this is true what’s the point of New Years resolutions anyway?? So much for the whole fresh start concept! You better set down that crab cake and pick up a carrot stick at the party because if your resolution is weight loss if you wait till the first to turn over that new leaf you’ll be screwed. In fact you probably should have started your resolution like two weeks ago.

In the past ten years I’ve time and time again proved this theory wrong. In fact from one year to the next I went from being a drunk single college girl on New Years, to a classy woman clinking champagne glasses and sharing a kiss with my boyfriend at midnight…the only think that those NYE had in common was the excessive amount of sequins I will never be too old to sport.

No matter how old I get or how many times I prove the theory to be false the words of Summer Roberts will always linger in the back of my mind…(paraphrased anyway…I love the show but I don’t have every line memorized) “Coop you can’t stay in! How you spend your New Years is how you’re going to spend the rest of the year!!” Dear Summer Thank you for inflicting this paralyzing New Year’s Eve complex on millions of girls that will take years of intense therapy to shake! And on that optimistic note…cheers to a fabulous new year!

Photo courtesy of: tvmegasite.net via google images