Thoughts All Betchy Girls Have 

  First of all, if you haven’t read the book. Nice is Just a Place in France, you should.

Second, If you say you haven’t thought all of these things to yourself at least once, then you’re probably lying…and you can’t sit with us. 
1. “I’m too pretty to work.” Yes, betch you are. I know that most of the time you’re like, “I am an independent women, hear me roar!” But while you’re out there actually being that independent woman and climbing the corporate ladder you’re thinking that it really isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. And what do you have to fall back on? Your good looks, obviously.  So you think to yourself, “I’m too pretty to work this hard…I need to marry rich”.  And who rubs it in better than you’re own mother. Your at the office and she texting you from the new Thai restaurant with her besties, after a morning of yoga and shopping. Not to mention the fact that she had no job obligations tying her down so your dad can whisk her off to Hawaii on a moments notice….why did I want to be an independent woman again? 

2. Starbucks should really deliver! You need your iced coffee and you need it now. You’re chained to your desk, if you leave the office things will fall apart and you can’t possibly wait until noon when you take your lunch. Starbucks should really have a delivery service, that employs only incredibly attractive delivery men, because we deserve eye candy with our iced coffee. I should really get a patent for this, I could make millions. 

3. I just reallllyyyy want to be skinny, and not have to work out, and be able to eat Taco Bell and In and Out and binge drink beer and vodka with out gaining weight. You know where you’ve been on a birthday diet consisting of only celery sticks and diet coke you’ve thought about how what you really want is to have a hot body while being able to eat whatever you want. Whoever said women need a man to have true happiness was so confused. True happiness is letting your inner fat kid take control and not suffering any consequences. Right after they cure cancer they need to get on this.

4. I’m literally dying. Yes, we know this is not the correct use of literally. We know we’re not actually physically dying. But we might as well be. We have a flare for the dramatic. Where it’s a horrific hangover or bitch of a caffeine withdrawal, you know you’ve thought (and said to anyone who will listen) that you’re literally dying. 

5. “I can’t even…” I can’t even being to tell you how many times a day this phrase runs through my mind, from then most obscure annoyance like a lack of coffee or the crazy baby mamma that plagues my existence, I can’t even. You know the Betchy girl you are tolerated nothing less than fabulousness and the annoying emails from your boss and the texts from your sexy ex are just too much for you sometimes and just like me, you can’t even. 

6.” I know I’m amazing but…” Lets be honest and give credit where it’s due, you’re awesome and sometimes that’s a problem…like when you’re trying to casually date and guys fall in love after four dates, I get it but I can’t even. Or like when your boss gives you an extra project because you’re amazing but there goes your thirsty Thursday plans, it’s gonna be a late night at the office. 

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10 Reasons Basic is the New Bad

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This whole basic bitch thing has gone so far that it’s starting to lose it’s negative connotation.
Urban Dictionary describes a basic bitch as; “an bum-ass woman who thinks she’s the shit but she really ain’t”. Since Lil Duval coined the term basic bitch the definition of basic has evolved. “Basic” has been defined by Urban Dictionary as “an adjective describing any person, place, behavior or dress that is obscenely obvious”. Before the term basic took on a life of it’s own my “basic white girl” understanding of it was unoriginal, lacking style, and if it was used to describe a person…that person was doing a whole lot of nothing with their life. Now common things everyone likes are suddenly uncool because they are basic and bow I’m kind of ok with my basic-ness.

1. The infamous Pumpkin Spice Latte – ok we get it everyone likes it…because it’s delicious…not because were not original enough to order something else….enough said.

2. Ugg boots…they are cute, comfy and trendy. And hell I even made the trend my own by rocking coral uggs. So now you’re trying to tell me it’s basic and uncool to follow trends…aren’t we kind of contradicting ourselves here…I think so!

3. Lauren Conrad is famous for her basic bitchiness. Last time I checked it wasn’t standard for teen girls to star in a reality TV show in high school and then create there own fashion line, becoming a style icon…should I go on?

4. I read in the latest issue of Cosmo that liking New Years Eve makes you basic. It’s a national holiday, a fresh start, and an excuse to wear an excessive amount of sequins! What wrong with that!? (However if you say you’re resolution is to lose weight, then you’re basic…that’s so unoriginal come on.)

4. This brings me to my next point even Cosmo is rebelling against negativity surrounding being a basic bitch…isn’t Cosmo like the girl code bible!? In my opinion they are about two seconds from giving all of us basic bitches the fun, fearless, female award! Just sayin’.

5. PINK…Girls like it because it’s comfy, guys like it because there is nothing like a booty in yoga pants. They have a style and color for any mood you’re in from sporty to sparkly. Dear Basic Bitch police please stop messing with the system. The VS Pink line is a crowd pleaser!

6. I now live in fear of all my favorite things becoming basic…. If Michael Kors is referred to as basic I will hunt that person down.

7. Ordering a Cosmo… Apparently ordering one let’s your bartender know you’re basic. I’m pretty sure Carrie Bradshaw would disagree…I rest my case.

8. Pretty much all good TV shows …from Sex and the City to the Real World…now this is just getting ridiculous people. If you say you don’t like trashy TV you’re lying to yourself and everyone else and that’s all there is to it. Admit it even if you think you’re the baddest most original bitch out there you still love a good Gilmore Girls episode or you’ve committed a piece of Carrie Bradshaw’s sage love advice to memory. Even if you say you only watch KUWTK to Kim then you’re just as guilty and basic as the rest of us!

9. Names…really…were at fault for our parents poor choices?? I now shed a tear for all girls named Ashley because they were cursed from birth with the title of basic bitch. Does anyone else think this is a little much? Just me? Ok then.

10. And finally the infamous mess bun. The once cute, chic go to look that said I’m absolutely adorable with out trying has now been added to the constantly growing list of things that make us basic.

All things considered if these make me basic than I don’t wanna be bad!