There is no struggle more real than that of a skinny Betch. It’s f***ing like June already and the past few months of dieting and going to the gym, followed by binge drinking haven’t left you looking like like Jillian Michaels…oops…whatever. So You’ve set your sites on crash dieting before notable events …obviously.
With an event two weeks away you’ve traded in your Monday night glass of wine ( while watching the bachelorette, of course) for some detox water in an attempt to cleanse your body of toxins and guilt from last weekends poor life choices. It’s fine.
There is absolutely nothing worse than coming off a three day weekend bender of vodka sodas, mini cupcakes, and iced white mochas and having to get back on the treadmill and eat a salad. You know all you wanna do is go get and in and out burger and satisfy your grease craving, since let’s be honest you’re still feeling your hangover even though it’s Tuesday…thanks for that mid twenties.
But no, you have to be in a bikini, in Vegas in two weeks Betch, step away from the French fry and go drown your sorrows in an iced coffee coz that’s as close to junk food as you’re going to get.
Then there are those health is a lifestyle bitches who don’t crave sweets, do yoga and get drunk off three vodka shots…all I have to say to them is … You can’t sit with us.
For the Betch that needs a little motivation… If being photographed in a bikini and instagrammed isn’t enough motivation for you, hang a photo of the VS model in the bikini you just ordered online on your full length mirror….it will give you something to aspire too…trust.
Also after staying sober for two weeks, your tolerance is low which means you’re consuming like half the normal amount of alcohol calories, right! Well that’s what we’re going to tell ourselves…
Once you’ve achieved your desired skinny Betch body it’s all about moderation… What is moderation you ask?? It means having a glass of wine and a slice of pizza during your Bachelorette viewing party (after a hardcore Monday gym sesh) Not eating a box a pizza while consuming the entire bottle of wine. This rule goes not apply to Starbucks…it is always a Venti Iced Coffee…..always. Anyone who tells you that you need to moderate your coffee consumption is a negative presence and you don’t need that in your life!
Stay Skinny Betches!