1. If we ask a question like Does this make me look fat? or Do you think she’s hot? You LIE!! If we we wanted the truth we wouldn’t be asking you.
2. Saying “I’m on my period.” is a 100% legit excuse for any and every crazy thing we may do during that god awful time of the month. From binge eating to crying and bitching..if value you your life you will accept this excuse.
3. If it’s not your credit card were swiping you have absolutely no right to have an opinion about our shopping and/or spending habits. No comments, questions or jokes about how much we shop or what we buy. We are independent women and we will shop if we want to! We reserve the right to buy that gorgeous coral Kate Spade bag as long as our paycheck allows!
4. BJ’s are a privilege not a right. Enough said.
5. Not all girls hate sports, if your girlfriend doesn’t understand that Sundays are for football and baseball season is a three hour, almost daily commitment…then maybe you should find a new girlfriend…one who doesn’t ask things like How many innings are there in football?
6. If we watch a 3 hour baseball game with you…you better happily and quietly sit through The Bachelor with us…or invest in a second TV for the sake of your relationship.
7. Birthday’s are a BIG deal. If you forget the date we met or our anniversary (unless were married) it’s a forgivable offense. If you forget our birthday, you suck and you don’t deserve to see us naked….ever again.
8. Gifts. If we love you we will wear a hideous sweater or piece of jewelry because you took the time to pick it out for us. And from then on we will give you serious guidance. If you don’t get us anything or you put no effort in we will know and not only will we hate you but so will our sister, our mom, and our BFF. You’ve been warned.
9. We don’t come right out and tell you things because it doesn’t count if we have to tell you to do it. We want you to think of it yourself. And we reserve the right to pout if you get it wrong.
10. If we spend 100 dollars on lingerie and 30 min trying to put it on perfectly, we’d really appreciate it if you waited more than 30 seconds to rip it off. Take a good long look, a lot of time, money, and self deprecation went into looking like a stripper for you.
11. Yes, we do need to get our hair done every 8 weeks…and we do need to spend the afternoon in Sephora finding the perfect lipstick or eyeshadow pallet. Chances are we didn’t look like a homeless gremlin when you met us and contrary to popular belief we do not wake up like this. So save your eye rolling.
12. Flowers are not just for F**k ups and anniversaries. We like them all the time. Just sayin.
13. Sometimes we run late. You may think you know what it’s like to have a bad hair day but you and your two inches of hair don’t know the true meaning of it. You may think that smearing mascara across your eyeshadow is a girl problem but to us it’s a freakin’ tragedy! And these things take time. So be patient with us when we run late to meet you, better yet come pick us up and prove chivalry is not dead.
14. When you order a drink for us at the bar with out asking what we want…we know you’re trying to be sweet and thoughtful but what you order us does not always have to be mixed with cranberry juice…some of us even like beer.
15. We love surprises we don’t need to be prepared for. Coffee, flowers, chocolate etc. If you expect us to try and dress for a surprise prepare to play 20 questions.
16. Too much jealousy is a huge turn off. No…no was not looking at him, my male coworkers do not hit on me and while I do think Matthew McConaughey is sexy I don’t compare you to him.
17. No one would nag if you just did it the first time we asked. You have the power to stop the nagging.
18. Do not ever under any circumstances call us crazy. Calling us crazy is like an open invitation to show you just how bat sh*t crazy we can be. This is for your own good.
19. If we love you we won’t fake it, we will instruct you, as ego crushing as it may be we’re not willing to risk deceiving you into thinking you’re great when you suck. If we just want you to leave we will fake it as fast and loud as we can. You’re welcome.
20. Sometimes we are going to want a
Burger and other times were going to diet. If we tell you were on a diet and then want McDonalds the next day, DO NOT remind us we went on a diet the day before. Our eating habits are like an emotional roller coaster, and you’re along for the ride. Just go with it.
21. If we text you we expect a timely, appropriate response. If we wrote you a novel, texting back “okay” 45 minuets later is not acceptable.
22. When we say, I don’t care, do whatever you want…” this absolutely does not mean do what you want. It means “danger Will Robinson Danger”…abort mission, I repeat, abort mission! Do.Not.Do.It.
23. We don’t believe you when you tell us you like us better with no make up on. That’s just weird. Saying you like us in sweats we’ll take because we know our ass look amazing in yoga pants.
24. Never refer to any of our friends as “Your hot friend [insert name here]”. Why you ask? Try it and find out.
25. Almost nothing works both ways. Just because we expect you to do the above does not mean we will always extend you the same courtesy. It’s the one double standard we get. Accept it.
Check out the article, 30 things guys wish girls knew at http://collegetimes.com/2014/01/07/rules-guys-wish-girls-knew