Skinny Betch Struggles 

  There is no struggle more real than that of a skinny Betch. It’s f***ing like June already and the past few months of  dieting and going to the gym, followed by binge drinking haven’t left you looking like like Jillian Michaels…oops…whatever. So You’ve set your sites on crash dieting before notable events …obviously

With an event two weeks away you’ve traded in your Monday night glass of wine ( while watching the bachelorette, of course) for some detox water in an attempt to cleanse your body of toxins and guilt from last weekends poor life choices. It’s fine.  

There is absolutely nothing worse than coming off a three day weekend bender of vodka sodas, mini cupcakes, and iced white mochas and having to get back on the treadmill and eat a salad. You know all you wanna do is go get and in and out burger and satisfy your grease craving, since let’s be honest you’re still feeling your hangover even though it’s Tuesday…thanks for that mid twenties. 

But no, you have to be in a bikini, in Vegas in two weeks Betch, step away from the French fry and go drown your sorrows in an iced coffee coz that’s as close to junk food as you’re going to get. 

Then there are those health is a lifestyle bitches who don’t crave sweets, do yoga and get drunk off three vodka shots…all I have to say to them is … You can’t sit with us. 

For the Betch that needs a little motivation… If being photographed in a bikini and instagrammed isn’t enough motivation for you, hang a photo of the VS model in the bikini you just ordered online on your full length mirror….it will give you something to aspire too…trust. 

Also after staying sober for two weeks, your tolerance is low which means you’re consuming like half the normal amount of alcohol calories, right! Well that’s what we’re going to tell ourselves…

Once you’ve achieved your desired skinny Betch body it’s all about moderation… What is moderation you ask??  It means having a glass of wine and a slice of pizza during your Bachelorette viewing party (after a hardcore Monday gym sesh) Not  eating a box a pizza while consuming the entire bottle of wine. This rule goes not apply to Starbucks…it is always a Venti Iced Coffee…..always. Anyone who tells you that you need to moderate your coffee consumption is a negative presence and you don’t need that in your life! 

Stay Skinny Betches! 

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Excuse me but I didn’t order a catfish?!

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Have 20 something’s given up? Have we really relinquished ourselves to online dating because were so desperate to find love at the ripe old age of 23? We’re sacrificing chemistry for convenience. While I haven’t experienced online dating myself I’ve watched my friends experience some online dating success and some Tinder nightmares.

Online Dating Pros

1. The Pool Keeps Shrinking. Once you graduate college, you go from trying to weed out the douche bags from the the nice guys, to just trying to meet any guy! There are friends of friends, co-workers, the few randoms from the bar and god forbid exes. Bottom line the older you get the fewer opportunities you have to meet new people.

2. Ain’t nobody got time for that. We’re busy ladies! We have jobs and other commitments that do not allow the time that is required to meet a guy. When we have time to go out with our friends we want to enjoy their company, not constantly be on the prowl.

3. Been there, done that. We’re over guys in bars. We just spent four years in college bringing guys home from bars. Having drunk hook ups and ill fated flings after meeting drunk. We’re looking for something more than what you can find in a bar on a Friday night.

4. True Life: We Met Online. Giving credit where it’s due, a friend of a friend, at age 24 is in a successful relationship with a guy she met on match. He is 26, with a good job, his own place and his life is together. I ask myself what kind of 20 something guy goes on match? My first thought? A desperate creep! Apparently the one she found is just a little more mellow and job oriented.

Online Dating Cons

1. Meet Cute. When your kids someday ask you how you met your answer will be online. So much for an adorable story. No phone number written on a Starbucks cup, or an instant connection after bumping into each other at a crowded gallery opening. Or in my case too much tequila caused me to sit on his lap…while he was bar-tending, hey it was cuter than it sounds!

2. So inorganic. You can’t manufacture true chemistry. You can’t buy butterflies. No test can match you with your soulmate. It’s not a perfect system, like every girl out there trolling the bars you’re going to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. Odds are the first guy you find on match isn’t going to be the love of your life.

3. And then there was Tinder…it’s like an online booty call. Yes, I know one person who is in a tinder relationship, however, some of the dates my friends have been on.OMG. Absolutely horrifying! It’s more like an online booty call. As if there wasn’t a stigma attached to online dating already, tinder came along and put the cherry on top. I’m judging and all my girls know it.

4. Catfish. There is an entire television show dedicated to the crazy, creepy, scum of the earth who screw with people online. Remember when you swiped right on Tinder, you know, tall, blonde, blue eyes, fit. Odds are if he’s not a total a**hole, then he is actually 300 lbs, eating pizza in his parents basement and loving your photos as well. Thanks MTV you’ve now encouraged all the crazies to
Come out of the woodwork…again. (Sidenote: don’t get me wrong I love catfish the tv show)

Bottom line, in my opinion I think 20 something’s should keep hope alive and stay off online dating sites. I think we need to feel spark and continue to be adventurous. Leave your options open! Ask me again in 5 1/2 years and I may be far more encouraging when it comes to online dating at 30 but for now at least I get a kick out of hearing about my friend’s infamous tinder dates!