50 Shades of Judgement

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So let me start by asking; how many of you ladies who have been counting down the days with baited breath and planning to spend Valentine’s day with a box of chocolates and Christian Grey, would actually get down in his infamous Red Room of Pain…Any takers?

I’m probably sharing what will be received as an incredibly unpopular opinion. However, I find it funny that this is the book most woman in America went crazy for. I read the first two books several years ago. I haven’t gotten around to the third and I don’t plan to (so if someone wants to let me know how it ends that would be great,thanks). This is not because I’m some prude who thinks BDSM is scary or too kinky. Frankly, E.L. James writing sucked. Voice, wit and word choice were not what had these books flying off the shelves, proving once again sex sells.

As someone who has visited Seattle many times I can tell you, if British housewife James has taken a trip across the pond it was not to Seattle. The vague scenes depicting mountains, perpetual gray skies and the occasional space needle siting definitely leave something to be desired when it comes to scenic descriptions. But who needs scenery when you’ve got lip biting and pleasure balls, right?

I also find it rather comical that 50
Shade die hards seem to be pretty bummed the scandalous tampon removal scene didn’t make it into the film. Really girls? I don’t know about you but if a sex scene (or 10) needed to be cut I’m ok with that scene being one. Christian removing Anna’s tamp doesn’t exactly scream sexy movie scene to me. It’s a film not a porno, remember there was a plot in there some where between all the whips, chains, and sex. One of the main reasons I am still curious how it ends is because I’m intrigued by Christian’s character and what led him to become the person he is, regarding both personality and sexual preferences. Despite the fact that every time I read his words in the book I heard a Optimus Prime’s (yes,the transformer) voice in my head.

Anastasia perplexes me because as a girl, at 21 or even now at 24 I think I can speak for myself and most my girlfriends when I say our response to the Red Room would have been quite different. There would have been a lot more WTF’s and are you kidding me right now’s? Throughout the course of the book if we were Anastasia. And it probably would have taken more than his millions, lavish gifts and clothes to get me to go along with some of his bizarre requests. Even despite the cool plane ride.

I’ll admit despite the fact that I don’t find the actor playing Mr.Grey, Jamie Doran as swoon worthy as everyone else does won’t deter me from seeing the movie. Not on Valentine’s Day and maybe not even in theaters but I want to see what all the fuss is about. Hypocritical as it may seem, can you blame me?

Photo credit: http://m.imdb.com/title/tt2322441/mediaindex?rmconst=rm2878849792&ref_=m_ttmi_mi_tt_art_1

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“Are We Sluts?” -Carrie Bradshaw

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Thank you Carrie Bradshaw for posing that loaded question! As Miranda was reeling over how many men she was going to have to call to find out how she managed to contract an STD, it got me wondering…is there a universal definition for what makes a slut a slut?

At this point how seriously can we even take the word? Most girls would call a virgin a slut if they are jealous of her or dislike her. It’s also a favorite term of endearment among girls. So what exactly do we do to have such a title bestowed upon us?

I think it depends on where you are. In po-dunk no where Mississippi having sex with anyone before you’re married might make you a slut. Watching the Tyra Banks show once I learned people in NY have the highest number of sexual partners, at double the national average. Yeah, Cali girls that includes us…for the win! (Or loss depending on how you look at it).

I did a little research on this particular topic…because as charming as my opinion is on it’s own, I like facts because I like to win arguments (haters gonna hate). According to an article on NYdailynews.com the Sex & the City girls did not rack up the stats you would think…

“Of the four women, public relations exec Samantha racked up the most sexual partners. She bedded 41 men and one woman, while Carrie hooked up with 18, Charlotte 18 and Miranda 17.”

Ummmm that’s not that high…at least not as high as I was expecting? I mean they were supposed to be a tad slutty and sexually empowered, right? In the article, previously quoted, an NY woman states she stopped counting when she reached 56….are you trying to tell me someone in real life topped the great sex pot Samantha Jones?? What!?!?

I may have a generous perspective because I went to Chico State…hearing someone had upped their infamous number three times between Tuesday and Sunday or had surpassed Carrie, Miranda and Charlotte wasn’t exactly shocking. I’m far more shocked by Carrie, Charlotte and Miranda to be perfectly honest. (Really though…the show was called SEX and the city.) I firmly believe where you live puts your inner slut in perspective. In a college town or big city, a number like 18 doesn’t warrant much judgement…but upon returning home for the holidays you may want to plead the fifth, or at least confess last. Your girlfriends who never left town, and are soon to be engaged to their high school
Sweetheart (and one and only sexual partner) might find your number to be appalling…I mean just yesterday they called the girl who works at the pinkberry and just slept with a second guy a slut. Yeah girl…keep your mouth shut or lie!

There is plenty to be said for women who have escaped the title of slut! Sex is supposed to be a meaningful experience after all. NY Daily quoted exotic dancer Crystal in defense of the good girl…(unlikely source..I know right).

“The women on ‘Sex and the City’ went through so many guys they devalued sex….I’ve seduced thousands of men, but my actual number of sex partners is one, maybe one and a half. Sex should be special.”

Funny thing…I’m betting most people?upon hearing Crystal’s profession, would call her a slut. Well there’s some irony for ya, huh?

Then there’s the good old advice you get from mom. When you tell a slutty story about someone you know and she says…”young girls don’t realize what they’re doing, they are someday going to have to tell the man they marry that they’ve slept with 20
Other men” she also gave us the “they won’t but the cow if you give them the milk for free.” All true…thanks mom.

But I can’t help but wonder if momma’s advice is preaching a double standard. So it’s up to the guy if he’s cool with how many men we’ve been with but we are supposed to be fine if he whored it up?? Ummm…no thank you! Ladies hold him to the same standards as he holds you!

I’ll leave you with this…According to NY daily sluts have some lovely qualities..
“Women with higher numbers tend to be more educated, have more liberal views and higher self-esteem,”

So what constitutes a slut? I still don’t freaking know! Another one of life’s great mysteries… Maybe they will make a Sex & The City 3 and Carrie can finally give us a real answer. For now C’est La Vie.

Quotes from: http://m.nydailynews.com/entertainment/sex-city-number-sex-partners-true-new-york-life-article-1.326644#bmb=1
Photo credit: http://pinterest.com/pin/A1KRRQAQwO0CcyqtCMIAAAA/